Things I Am Not
I am not gushy. I know how to say "Ooh, that's lovely!" or "That's awesome, I love it!" But when everyone starts in with the "AWWWW. <333333 LOVELOVELOVE" I start looking for a place to hide. Gushiness is awkward for me. Might be the fact that I was born into a male-dominated family . . . three brothers, eight uncles, no sisters or girl cousins . . . yep, that could do it.
I am not self-disciplined. I don't finish projects. I procrastinate. I take "little" breaks when I should be hard at work. I'm not very stern with myself. It's something I have to work on. And I have to work on working on it. And work on working on working . . . you get the idea. It's a little depressing.
I am not insecure. I don't usually believe that I'm beautiful and amazing, but I don't usually believe that I'm not beautiful and amazing either. Does that make any sense at all? I have quite a lot of insecure moments, but they don't last long. Deep down, I'm pretty well grounded in knowing who I am and being okay with who I am. That's something I like about myself.
I am not a fangirl. I feel weird about confessing this, because I'm such a minority. I have my favorite movies and shows but I don't really give a crap about celebrities. Fandoms bewilder me and so do celebrity crushes. In short, I fail miserably at being a teenaged girl.
I am not a highschooler. This also leaves me in a tiny minority (for my age group, of course). I graduated several years early and I'm in college now. It's just . . . extremely awkward in real life. I dread the question "What grade are you in?"
I am not someone who sees life in black-and-white. I see life in bright colors. Dogmatism makes me furious. I like questions better than definite statements. My brain is quick to think, "Yes, but what if . . .?"
I am not good at taking beautiful self-portraits. Just stating the obvious.
Okay. Your turn. What are you not?
Written by Lydia at 6:09 PM