9/17/2012

Transition

      I'm not the sort of person who dislikes change. There's certain things that I'd like to stay the same forever and ever. But past those certain things, change doesn't bother me. Sometimes I like it. Change can be invigorating, and sometimes it's just what I need. But transition? I hate it. It gnaws at my insides until I feel like I'm going to explode.
     Maybe it's the waiting that bothers me. But I think it's more than that. When I'm stuck in transition mode, it feels like I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong in the place or the time period or the state of mind that I'm leaving, but I don't belong in the place that I'm headed towards either.
     Some transitions are more subtle than others. But transitioning from one state to another . . . from one house to another . . . that's not simple. Right now it feels like transition has invaded our lives permanently. It feels like it's never going to leave.
     I guess I really thought that right now I'd be living in a completely different house, going to a completely different church and a completely different school. But I'm not. I'm still here. And I want out. I want out so desperately. In the two years that I've lived here, I've never really put down roots. The only thing I'm attached to is our neighborhood, our house, and our friends next door. Other than that? I'm not sad to leave. Everything is wrapped up, and I'm ready to go. It's frustrating to have to stay.
     Tomorrow maybe the house in Illinois will close. Maybe we'll get to move this week. And maybe we won't. That's the hard thing. It doesn't always turn out, and everything is always delayed. I just know that I'm excited for my new life. And I'm ready to be there.

     Are you a person who likes change or do you hate it? What about transition? (I can't imagine anyone loving it.)

5 comments:

  1. I think I know how you feel, Lydia. And it sounds like a tough situation... transitioning can feel cold and awkward, for sure.
    You and your family are in my prayers; blessings to you all. :)
    -Mel

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  2. I hate change, even though it happens so much in my life. Peace and quiet are like awesome distant relatives that I don't get to see often.

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  3. I like change. Bits and pieces. I don't like my days to always be the same routine. But moving states?! It's been 2 years since we swapped states, and yikes, I'm still not used to it. It's a hard, hard thing to move THAT far away from where you used to be. And transition is a hair-pulling matter. I feel for you!!

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  4. I don't handle change well... I like to think I'm okay at change, but really? I stress too much. :) And moving is always hard. Hope things fall into place for you soon!

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  5. I like change, after I've adjusted to it.

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