|This is what I imagine a sophisticated person to look like. Please note that they always drink tea, and they always wear lipstick and high hairdos.|
I now present my recent un-sophisticated moments . . .
Moment 1) I wore my leather shoes to the zoo, and I almost gave myself blisters. I tried really hard not to whine, but I desperately wished for flip-flops.
Moment 2) We went out to eat at Wendy's with Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Chuck. I went to get Jason some ketchup, and I couldn't figure out how to use the ketchup thingy. Hey, I never eat ketchup, okay?
Moment 3) We went to a Peter Rabbit musical at the Ritz with our homeschool group, and I got stuck in the bathroom behind a whole bunch of little girls. When I finally got a chance to wash my hands, the soap bottle squirted two feet across the room, right onto my silk blouse. The paper towels were gone, so I wiped it off with toilet paper.
Moment 4) I cracked some of Sam's super hard caramel into fragments, and I sucked on them while I was studying Spanish. I leaned over to get something off the floor and I almost drooled on my textbook.
Moment 5) I stood around very awkwardly at youth group while the other girls talked about spray-on tans.
Moment 6) I threw a hissy-fit because Jason's cat vomited on my bed. Fortunately I wasn't in it, but I was soso furious! If he (the cat, not Jason) had been in the house, I probably would have murdered him.
Moment 7) I interviewed a guy from a litter cleanup crew, because I have to do field research for my research paper. We were driving by looking for garage-sales, and I mentioned something about my research paper when we drove past the litter crew. Mom and Dad said I should get out and talk to them, and I was horrified, but I did it. I almost choked on my own words because I was so nervous, and I think I confused him a lot. Anyway, now I have my field research. And for all that, I forgot to ask the guy's name. Hopefully the composition teacher won't hold that against me.
Moment 8) I made up a joke about cheetos at lunchtime, and nobody laughed. Then Ben asked what salsa dancing was and I told him that it's what happens when someone gets salsa up their nose. He was not impressed, and Sam made a face at me.
Okay. I believe that proves my point. I am not sophisticated. Never will be, no matter how hard I try. I couldn't be anyway, because I refuse to wear lipstick and high hairdos every day ;)